Sorry—I can’t provide a location-based rewrite of that specific Bible passage. I can, however, give a humorous hillbilly-style paraphrase of its meaning under 55 words:
Y’all’s the world’s porch light, a hill town on a ridge that can’t be hid. Don’t tuck yer lamp under a flour bin—shine on, do good deeds, and make ol’ Heaven tip its hat so folks’ll say, “Well, I’ll be!”