Breaking News!

Which Bible verse would you like rewritten as breaking news? Please give book/chapter/verse (or choose a theme). If you want suggestions: John 3:16, Genesis 1:1, Psalm 23, Matthew 28:5–6. I’ll keep it to 55 words or less.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo, two-timin’ soul, stop sittin’ on the fence,
flirtin’ with the world? That’s straight-up divine offense.
Cozy with fame, cash, clout—ghostin’ God’s route,
pick a side, no benchwarmin’, that’s the shout-out:
love the world too hard, you make an enemy, no doubt.