Breaking News! Philippians 1:29

Breaking News: Church sources confirm believers have been granted, for Christ’s sake, not only the gift of faith but also the call to suffer. Officials say faith and suffering are both official parts of the mission. More updates as events unfold.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo, resurrection mode — no rings, no vows,
Heaven’s a singles club with angelic brows.
No wedding plans, no plus-ones on the throne,
We’re winged-up spirits, rolling solo — grown.
Love’s upgraded, not traded; status: airborne,
No matchmaking hustle in that eternal zone.