Breaking News!

Which Bible verse or passage would you like rewritten as breaking news? Please give the book and verse(s) and, if you care, a preferred translation. If you don’t pick one, I can choose a well-known verse (e.g., John 3:16 or Psalm 23) and keep it to 55 words or less.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo, confess your mess, no stress, he’s faithful and true,
Say your sins out loud, he forgives, wipes the slate for you.
Justice meets mercy, rinse and renew, brand new view.
Be real, repent, watch the dirty fade, clean crew.