Breaking News!

I’m missing the passage — the quotes are empty. Which Bible verse or passage do you want rewritten as a breaking news story? Also: do you want an exact quoted translation (which translation?) or a brief paraphrase in 55 words or fewer?

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Heart’s the bank, deposit belief — you earn righteous interest,
Mouth drops confession, that’s the ticket, salvation manifest.
Believe in the chest, get justified, speak it loud — illuminate,
Faith inside, words outside; repent, confess, then celebrate.