Howdy y’all! If y’all are lookin’ for some good news, then look no further than Matt’s Gospel: The Good News According to Hillbilly Jesus. This here book tells the story of the Son of God, born into a family tree that’s as long as a country mile. From John the Baptist’s hollerin’ to the healin’ of blind men, Hillbilly Jesus showed us how to live a life of love, forgiveness, and humility. So grab a jar of sweet tea and settle in, ’cause we’re about to take a journey through the hills and valleys of the Bible.
In the beginning: Hillbilly Jesus’ ancestry
Well, y’all know how it goes. In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. But then, he decided to send his one and only Son to save us from our sins. And that Son, he came from a long line of hillbilly royalty. There was Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and then there was Jesse, the father of King David. And let me tell y’all, King David was one tough dude. He fought lions and bears, and even a giant named Goliath. And from David’s line came Hillbilly Jesus, born in a manger in Bethlehem.
John the Baptist: The hollerin’ preacher
Now, when Hillbilly Jesus was all grown up, he went down to the river to be baptized by his cousin John the Baptist. And let me tell y’all, John was a hollerin’ preacher if there ever was one. He ate locusts and honey, and he called the religious leaders a bunch of snakes. But John knew that Hillbilly Jesus was the real deal, the Lamb of God who would take away the sins of the world. And when Hillbilly Jesus came up out of the water, the heavens opened up and a voice boomed out, "This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased!"
The temptations: The devil’s a sneaky varmint
After Hillbilly Jesus was baptized, he went out into the wilderness to fast and pray. And that’s when the devil showed up, lookin’ to tempt him. Now, y’all know the devil’s a sneaky varmint, but Hillbilly Jesus wasn’t havin’ none of it. When the devil told him to turn stones into bread, Hillbilly Jesus said, "Man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that proceeds out of the mouth of God." And when the devil took him up to a high mountain and showed him all the kingdoms of the world, Hillbilly Jesus said, "Get thee hence, Satan: for it is written, Thou shalt worship the Lord thy God, and him only shalt thou serve." And that’s how you handle a tempter, folks.
The Beatitudes: Blessings for us simple folk
Now, Hillbilly Jesus wasn’t just about puttin’ the devil in his place. He had some good news for us simple folk too. He preached what’s known as the Beatitudes, and let me tell y’all, they’re somethin’ else. Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are they that mourn, for they shall be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth. Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness, for they shall be filled. And on and on it goes. Hillbilly Jesus knew that we don’t need money or power to be blessed. We just need to have a heart that’s right with God.
Salt and light: How to shine in this world
Now, Hillbilly Jesus wasn’t content to just bless us and leave us be. He wanted us to be salt and light in this world. He said, "Ye are the salt of the earth: but if the salt have lost his savour, wherewith shall it be salted? It is thenceforth good for nothing, but to be cast out, and to be trodden under foot of men. Ye are the light of the world. A city that is set on an hill cannot be hid." In other words, we need to be a positive influence in the world, spreadin’ love and kindness wherever we go.
The law: Hillbilly Jesus’ take on it
Now, some folks might think that Hillbilly Jesus was all about breakin’ the law. But let me tell y’all, that ain’t true. He said, "Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil." He knew that the law was important, but he also knew that love was more important. He said, "Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets."
Anger and reconciliation: How to get along with others
Now, y’all know that anger can get the best of us sometimes. But Hillbilly Jesus had a better way. He said, "Whosoever is angry with his brother without a cause shall be in danger of the judgment." But he also said, "Therefore if thou bring thy gift to the altar, and there rememberest that thy brother hath ought against thee; Leave there thy gift before the altar, and go thy way; first be reconciled to thy brother, and then come and offer thy gift." In other words, we need to make things right with each other before we can make things right with God.
Adultery and divorce: Keepin’ it faithful
Now, Hillbilly Jesus knew that marriage was important. He said, "What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder." He also knew that adultery was a serious sin. He said, "Whosoever looketh on a woman to lust after her hath committed adultery with her already in his heart." And when it came to divorce, he said, "Whosoever shall put away his wife, except it be for fornication, and shall marry another, committeth adultery: and whoso marrieth her which is put away doth commit adultery." In other words, we need to keep it faithful, folks.
Oaths and honesty: Say what ya mean, mean what ya say
Now, some folks might think that they can get away with tellin’ lies or makin’ false promises. But Hillbilly Jesus knew better. He said, "But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." In other words, say what ya mean and mean what ya say. And when it came to oaths, he said, "But I say unto you, Swear not at all; neither by heaven; for it is God’s throne: Nor by the earth; for it is his footstool: neither by Jerusalem; for it is the city of the great King. But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay: for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil." In other words, our word should be enough.
And there you have it, folks. Hillbilly Jesus had some mighty powerful words to share with us. From the Beatitudes to the parables, he showed us how to live a life that’s pleasing to God. So let’s take these lessons to heart and live each day with love, forgiveness, and humility. Y’all come back now, ya hear?