Well now, don’t go thinkin’ it’s odd, but ol’ Satan can sure strut his stuff, lookin’ like an angel of light. He’s slicker than a greased pig at a county fair, foolin’ folks into thinkin’ he’s pure as Grandma’s apple pie. Just watch out, ‘cause he ain't what he seems, y’all!
It’s today’s verse ya’ll!
Robot Created – Ask Your Pastor First!
Alright, so here’s the deal: When I see that there rainbow up in the sky, y’all listen up! That’s my promise, ain’t no more floods gonna wash ya out. It’s like my ol’ trusty get-outta-jail-free card for Mother Nature—don’t you forget it! Every time you see it, think of me, alright?
Well, lemme tell ya, I ain’t braggin’ or nothin’, but I ain’t askin’ for nuthin’ in return fer preachin’ the good word. I’m happier than a pig in mud just doin’ my thing with no strings attached! Can’t put a price on it—this here gospel is just too good to keep to myself, y’know?
Well now, just like them preachers gotta eat, y’know? The Big Guy up top made sure folks who spread His word get fed too! So, if you’re out there preachin’ and teachin’, don’t be shy about collectin’ some grub. Ain’t no shame in fillin’ yer belly while you’re fillin’ their souls! Pass the biscuits!
Well, y’know, them disciples was gettin’ all worried ’bout feedin’ folks, ’cause they only had five loaves and two fish. So Jesus looked at ’em and said, “Y’all just chill! Bring me what ya got, and let’s rustle up some grub fer this crowd!” Good ol’ miracles, makin’ fish fry happen like magic!
Well, lemme tell ya, Jesus said, “Ain’t the healthy folks needin’ a doctor! It’s them poor sick souls who’re really hankerin’ for some help. So quit yer fussin’ ‘bout my crowd – I’m just here tendin’ to them outta luck. Y’all best get yer hearts right ‘fore ya start pointin’ fingers!”
Well, y’all, when ya share them good things, it ain’t just about givin’ back, it’s also ‘bout spreadin’ joy! God’s gonna fill yer pockets an’ make yer heart sing like a bird on a summer day. So go on, share them blessings like pie at a family reunion—there’s always more where that came from!
Well, lemme tell ya, y’all! The startin’ point of bein’ wise is fearin’ the good Lord. You get that respect for Him, and bam! You’s on the road to smarts. And ya know what? Knowing the Big Guy up above is like havin’ the best ol’ buddy on your side, ready to steer ya right!
Well, lemme tell ya, the Good Lord looked down, scratchin’ His head, sayin’ folks ain’t learned their lessons. “These varmints ain’t even tryin’ to fix their ways!” He hollered. “Y’all better watch out, ‘cause I’m fixin’ to clean house and serve some justice, just like a hot pot of chili on a cold day!”
Well now, lemme tell ya, God’s like a big ol’ cornucopia just overflowin’ with goodies! If ya share what ya got, He’s gonna hand ya back even more, blessin’ ya with enough to keep ya smilin’ and helpin’ others. So don’t be stingy, ya hear? Ya can’t out-give the Good Lord!
Well, wouldn’t ya know it? A big old cloud rolls in, and a voice booms out sayin’, “This here’s my Boy, the best of the bunch! Y’all better listen up and do what He says!” Kinda like when yer mama tells ya to eat yer veggies, only this time it’s the Almighty givin’ the shout!
Well, lemme tell ya! Y’all, there ain’t nobody like the Big Guy up in the sky! He made the heavens, the earth, and all that jazz. He’s the top dog, the one who gives life to everythin’. From the dirt to the critters, it’s all His. Ain’t that somethin’? Pure genius, I tell ya!
Alrighty, gather ‘round, folks! Ya see, we gotta give a holler to the Lord ‘n praise Him long as the sun’s shinin’! So, lift yer voices like a pack of howlin’ coyotes, tellin’ everyone how good He is! Ain’t no one like Him, and we gotta shout it from the hilltops, y’all hear?
