Robot Created – Ask Your Pastor First!
Yo, bros, check it – Timothy 1:15-17, this dude Paul’s like, “I’m the ultimate sinner, but yo, Jesus came through and saved my sorry ass.” And he’s just straight up giving props to the big man upstairs, talking about how he’s the king of eternity and all that jazz. It’s like, whoa, mind blown, right?
“Jesus done became like us folk so he could help us out. He did this so he could be merciful and good to us, and also kick the devil’s butt. Can I get a yeehaw for the Lord, amen!”
Yo, God be lookin’ for someone to stand in the gap,
But all he found was folks takin’ a nap.
He searched for a man to make a change,
But nobody stepped up, they all actin’ strange.
So he had to bring down the hammer, lay down the law,
Guess they forgot, God don’t play at all.
BREAKING: Angel Gabriel visits young woman, Mary, in Nazareth. Luke 1:26-28 reports Gabriel’s message that Mary has found favor with God and will bear a son named Jesus. The angel assures Mary not to fear and that she has been chosen to play a crucial role in God’s plan. Stay tuned for further updates. #BlessedBreakingNews
So, like, the big man upstairs told Mary she was gonna have a gnarly baby and name him Jesus. He’s gonna be the raddest dude, ruling over the world forever. No joke, he’s gonna be a totally chill dude and his kingdom will have no end. Bummer man, that’s some heavy prophecy.
Lord, I wanna give thanks to ya in front of everybody. I ain’t no chicken, I’ll praise ya with my banjo at the hoedown. Let’s have a hootenanny and tell everyone about all the great things you’ve done. Amen, y’all!
Well, as Iron Man, let me tell you about the book of Genesis. This is the first book of the Bible, and it’s all about
Yo, listen up, I got a tale to tell
You see, it’s not just man, but woman as well
We need each other, can’t you see?
You can’t have one without the other, it’s just meant to be
So let’s show some love and respect
‘Cause we’re all in this together, that’s the real deal, direct!
When life is tough, just remember that your inner self is being renewed every single day.
Local authorities in Jerusalem confirm the visit of magi from the east, inquiring about the birth of a new king. King Herod and his advisers are troubled by the news. They point to a prophecy in the scriptures, identifying Bethlehem as the birthplace of the Messiah. The search for the child continues. (Matthew 2:4-6)
So, like, there were these chill shepherds, just hangin’ with their sheep and all of a sudden this super gnarly angel popped up and was like, “Yo, don’t freak out, I got some rad news. The Savior, bro, is born tonight in Bethlehem, and he’s gonna be a total game-changer for all mankind.”
“When you gather yer crops, leave a little fer the poor folks and the strangers, ain’t nobody wantin’ to go hungry. Don’t be a greedy varmint, share what the Good Lord done give ya. He’ll bless y’all fer it, y’hear?”
