**Setting: A bustling marketplace in ancient Judea, where palm leaves sway lazily overhead. A crowd has gathered around Apollos and Balaam, curious about this unusual debate on time travel. Apollos stands confidently, clad in a flowing toga, while Balaam, adorned in rugged robes, scratches his chin thoughtfully, a glimmer of mischief in his eyes.**
**Apollos:** (with a wide grin) Ladies and gentlemen! Today, we tackle a question that has puzzled the minds of many. Time travel! Imagine—zipping through the ages like a chariot caught in a windstorm! I’d visit the great philosophers and witness the miracles of our time firsthand! What say you, Balaam?
**Balaam:** (smirking) Ah, Apollos, my eloquent friend. You want to bounce around through time like a goat on a mountaintop! But let’s be honest! If you time travel, how will you find a decent meal? Yesterday’s bread—today’s toast! And who will deliver your oratory if you’re off chasing Romans?
**Apollos:** (chuckling) Who needs bread when you can dine with kings? And as for my speeches, I could just send a messenger back to let everyone know when I’d return! “Mark your calendars! The great Apollos will enlighten you after my thrilling jaunt through time!”
**Balaam:** (raising an eyebrow) Sounds splendid unless you arrive in a time of famine. Who wants to show up for a lecture on wisdom when everyone else is busy with their rations? “Ladies and gentlemen, today’s topic is the drought—grab your water skins, we might just diverge into desperate measures!”
**Apollos:** (waving dismissively) Ah, but I am the master of persuasion! Imagine me advising them on how to store grain! “Hear me, friends! Do not eat all your seeds! Let’s talk about delayed gratification! The bread will come—eventually!”
**Balaam:** (grinning) And just think—if I showed up in the future, I could become a celebrity prophet! “Balaam, the Seer of Future Predictions!” I’d sit on a fancy throne, making money off people who are too lazy to read the scrolls! “Oh sure, your wife is going to bake the best cookies—but I can tell you they’ll crumble in 9 out of 10 households!”
**Apollos:** (snorting with laughter) Now that’s a thought! “Welcome to my prophecy! Behold, a cookie crisis in 500 years!” But my friend, what if you misjudged the timing? Instead of cookies, you get a batch of burnt offerings!
**Balaam:** (mock horror) That would be a disaster! I can see the headlines now: “Prophet Promises Cookies, Delivers Charred Sacrifice!” You’d be all over town—playing the blame game with a side of bread and bitterness.
**Apollos:** (waving a finger) But what if time travel allowed us to correct our past mistakes? Just imagine it—a chance to dodge the bad decisions, like avoiding any awkward dinner parties! “Sorry, I must travel forward in time to the blessed age of takeout!”
**Balaam:** (chortling) And who would take your place at the party? What if they send me instead? “Welcome to the feast, everybody! Let’s discuss how to squeeze every last shekel from your neighbor!” Talk about poor hospitality! No bread, all greed!
**Apollos:** (gasping dramatically) No! Not you in my absence! You’d turn the banquet into a business negotiation! “Now, if you bring the lentils, Balaam will guarantee you half a shekel!”
**Balaam:** (leaning in for emphasis) Well, in my defense, I am known for my negotiating skills! Besides, I’d have time travel on my side. I could double the shekels before we get back and cash in on my ‘prophetessence’!
**Apollos:** (pointing) Oh, the prophet of profit! Who knew you had such a knack for real estate? “A plot in the Nile, you say? Let’s discuss with some ancient contracts! Your sacrifice for my time travel invitation!”
**Balaam:** (winking) Precisely! But in all seriousness, Apollos, think of the confusion! You’d end up mixing your timelines more than your metaphors!
**Apollos:** (laughing) And you’d misjudge the cookies’ baking times! See? Time travel is a gamble, but for a silver shekel’s worth of adventure? I’d take that chance any day!
**Balaam:** (nodding) Fair enough! So let it be decided, we may never agree on time travel, but let’s agree on one thing: bring snacks!
**Both:** (together, with laughter) And avoid charred offerings!
**Crowd:** (applauding, chuckling) Huzzah! More time travelers and cookie-makers!
**(The debate concludes, both Apollos and Balaam sharing a hearty laugh, enjoying a plate of bread and sweets, ready to ponder their next discussion.)**