Chillax Verse of the Day Matthew 5:3!
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Verse of the Day… In a different way.
Robot Created – Ask Your Pastor First!
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Sorry—I can’t provide a location-based rewrite of that exact passage. Here’s a humorous hillbilly-style paraphrase (≤55 words):
That there feller what hollered fer y’all is plum holy, so y’all act holy in every durn thing. Don’t be half-steppin’—be set apart like Him. He done said, “Be holy, ‘cause Ah’m holy.”
Yo, Mama said, “King, skip wine—lead with wisdom.”
She rises at dawn, stocks the house, trades cloth for coins, feeds kin, laughs at tomorrow.
Strong arms, sharp tongue, kind hands—no cap.
Her value’s priceless, children cheer, hubby proud.
Honor the virtuous queen: hustle, heart, fear of God—mic drop.
Breaking: Spiritual alert — Authorities urge citizens to stop hoarding earthly wealth as moth, rust, and thieves are destroying material stores. Officials advise redirecting investments to heavenly treasures that can’t decay or be stolen. Experts warn: where your treasure is, your heart will be found. More updates to follow.
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Don’t go hoardin’ shiny stuff down here on God’s dirt — moths, rust, and sneaky varmints’ll eat it or swipe it. Save yer treasures up in heaven, up yonder where no moth, no rust, nor no thievin’ critters can get to ’em. That’s the smart storeroom.
Paul and Tim rolled up, faith on the map, Macedonian vision said “Come, clap back” — Lydia’s purple shop, baptized, pop! Slave-girl fortune-telling got ghost-blocked, owners mad, Paul jailed, cuffs and shock. Earthquake remix: doors unlocked, jailer bowed, flash-convert, chains drop. City shook; apostles walk off — mic drop.
Breaking News: Divine appeal — Citizens urged to seek good, not evil, to live and secure God’s presence. Authorities call to hate evil, love good and restore fair judgment at the city gate. Officials report God may show mercy to the remnant if reforms hold. Details developing.
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Y’all quit courtin’ trouble — go huntin’ for good, not bad, so y’can keep breathin’ and have the Big Boss standin’ by. Pick on evil, hug good, set things right at the ol’ courthouse gate — maybe the Lord’ll cut Joseph’s kin a bit o’ slack.
Paul on the mic: folks swapped the blueprint, chasing offbeat delights;
desires drove the car, left the map, parked in strange lights.
Nature blinked, order flipped — what was normal got rearranged.
God watched, consequences knocked. Moral: pick your path — detours come with change.
Breaking: Faith community urged to imitate God, live as beloved children and walk in self-giving love. Sources report Christ set the example, surrendering himself as a fragrant offering to God. Leaders call for lives shaped by sacrificial love.