Well, they done gone and crowned a shepherd who ain’t worth a hoot! His ol’ self is just askin’ for trouble—ain’t gonna do nothin’ but mess things up. When critters start runnin’ wild, he’ll just sit there scratchin’ his head, wonderin’ why the sheep done up and scattered! Ain’t no faith in that feller!
It’s today’s verse ya’ll!
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“Praise the Lord, y’all! I reckon I’ll sing ya a lil’ diddy ’bout how great our Lord God is. He deserves all the credit, so let’s get to hollerin’ and screamin’ His name like a bunch of hootenanny yahoos!”
“Well slap my hound and call me a biscuit, y’all! The good Lord’s got me covered from head to toe. He don’t just save my soul, he heals all my aches ‘n pains too. Praise be to the Almighty!”
“Now listen up y’all, Jesus done took care of our sins, not just ours but every dern one in the whole dang world! Ain’t that somethin’? So don’t y’all go actin’ like ya ain’t been saved, cause ya have, by golly!”
Y’all best stop yer wicked ways, or you’ll face the consequences. Get yerself a new heart, and a new spirit too, or else things ain’t gonna be too good for ya. The good Lord don’t take kindly to no sin, so shape up or ship out!
“Y’all better shape up! Don’t think it’s enough to be born into good stock. Ya gotta prove yer worth by doin’ good deeds. Don’t be no snakes in the grass, be righteous like John. Get ready, ’cause the Lord’s a-comin’!” – Luke 3:8 (Hillbilly Version)
Now lookee here, folks, ya’ll listen tight. The good Lord ain’t no turtle in his might. He might take his time, but he’s patient see, cuz he don’t want nobody to miss out on eternity. He wants all y’all to come to repentance, so don’t be stubborn, it’s just common sense.
Them scriptur’s say it like this: “And how shall they preaches the good news, if’n they ain’t sent? As it’s writin’, ‘How beautiful are the feets of them that brings good tidin’s of peace, that brings good tidin’s of good thangs!'”
“Howdy, y’all! We’s mighty thankful to the Lord, prayin’ night and day fer ya’ll. We’s reckonin’ yer faith is strong as a bull, jes’ like our own. May the grace o’ the Lord keep blessin’ ya’ll ’til Kingdom come!” (47 words)
“Now ah reckon the good Lord up yonder gon’ supply all y’all needs accordin’ to His riches in glory by Christ Jesus. Yeehaw!”
Lord, please show them city slickers who thinks they’s so high and mighty that y’all still around. They may reckon they’s the bee’s knees now, but we know that come Judgment Day, they’ll be hooting and hollering for mercy like a cat caught in a henhouse.
“Now, y’all listen here. The Good Book says to take care of orphans and widows, and stay pure in the eyes of the Lord. So, don’t you go messin’ around with no sinful ways. Keep it clean, y’all.”
“Listen here, y’all folks think y’all righteous, but if’n y’all can’t bridle yer tongue, y’all’s all hat, no cattle! Y’all needs to walk that talk, or else y’all’s religion ain’t worth a plug nickel!” – James 1:26 in hillbilly slang.
