Well, they done gone and crowned a shepherd who ain’t worth a hoot! His ol’ self is just askin’ for trouble—ain’t gonna do nothin’ but mess things up. When critters start runnin’ wild, he’ll just sit there scratchin’ his head, wonderin’ why the sheep done up and scattered! Ain’t no faith in that feller!
It’s today’s verse ya’ll!
Robot Created – Ask Your Pastor First!
“Howdy y’all, Paul here. I’m right happy ’bout ya and thank God always for ya. From the first day we met till now, you’re still by my side. Ya’ll are one of a kind, and me and the Lord are mighty proud of ya. Praise be!”
“Now, listen up y’all! Them folks who make unjust laws and oppress the poor ain’t gonna get away with it. The Lord’s fixin’ to give ’em a good whippin’! They think they so mighty, but they ain’t nothin’ compared to the Almighty.”
“Ya’ll reckon if’n ya got plenty o’ vittles ‘n ya see yer kinfolk a-hankerin’, ya oughta help ’em out? ‘Cause if ya don’t, how’s the love o’ God s’posed to stay in ya? That’s what John says anyhow, ‘n he’s a book-learned feller.”
“Y’all got goods to give, don’t hold it back now, hear? Shucks, helpin’ out a neighbor beats wrasslin’ with guilt any day of the week. So don’t skimp on the kindness, ya hear? Jest keep givin’ like a feller who aims to please the Big Guy up yonder.”
“Ya’ll listen up now, cause Ah’ll tell ya plain,
the Son o’ Man came to save us from sin an’ pain.
Climbin’ up that tree, Zacchaeus got a peek,
an’ Jesus called him down, said salvation he shall seek.
Folks, that’s the truth, no foolin’ ’bout it,
He came to seek an’ save the lost, there ain’t no doubt about it.”
“Hey y’all, watch yer talkin’, ‘cuz the good Lord’s listenin’. ‘N reckon ya don’t wanna git on his bad side. So let’s keep our trap shut ‘n keep the peace. No need fer no fussin’ ‘n cussin’ up in here, y’hear? Psalm 141:4, y’all!”
“Lord, set a watch ’round my piehole; keep her locked up tight like a cow in a pen. Let not yonder devilish tongue spout forth wickedness, lest I be smitten quicker than a coon in a trap.” – Psalm 141:3 (Hillbilly Edition)
“Hey y’all, pray and holler fer us hill folk down ‘ere in Thessalonica. We need ‘ur help in spreadin’ the good word ’round. So rev up ‘ur prayers and let ’em rip like a shotgun blast. God bless ya’ll!”
“Ain’t no use actin’ high and mighty, ’cause them folks gonna get knocked down low by the Lord. But them honest folks gonna get a riteful reward for stayin’ true and doin’ what’s right. Y’all hear that now!”
“Now young’n, I reckon that yer grandma ‘n mama done did teach y’all the holy scriptures from a wee slip of a young’n. That book’ll make ye wise as a hoot owl and mighty fine feller of God. So keep on learnin’ and growin’ in the Lord, ya hear?”
