It’s today’s verse ya’ll!
Robot Created – Ask Your Pastor First!
“Now listen here, y’all. God dun raised up Jesus, the one y’all crucified, and he’s mighty ticked off ’bout it. But don’t y’all fret none, ’cause he’s fixin’ to show y’all his power. So y’all better shape up, ‘fore it’s too late, ya hear?”
Well gol-darn, we ain’t gonna be listenin’ to what them big-wigs tell us to do! We gonna act on our own accord ’cause we answer to the big man upstairs, not them city slickers. So y’all can take yer rules and stick ’em where the sun don’t shine! Yeehaw!
Ya reckon don’t go lustin’ after a woman in yer heart, ’cause if ya do, ya done already committed adultery with ‘er. So keep them eyes in check, and don’t let yer mind wander none. Or else reckon you gonna be in a heap ‘o trouble!
“Jesus done walked on by and spied Leevi, sittin’ at his toll booth, collectin’ dem coins. He hollered out, ‘Hey Leevi, come on over here and be my buddy!’ Leevi up and left that booth behind, followin’ Jesus and never lookin’ back. That’s the power of them good ol’ gospel preachin’!”
“Well I’ll be hornswoggled y’all, them folks done went and got flabbergasted seein’ Jesus heal that paralyzed feller. They was all a hootin’ and hollerin’, sayin’ ‘we done seed strange things today!’ You reckon they gonna start believin’ in the Good Lord now, or they just gonna keep on jawin’?”
In themh werds of ol’ John 5:25, he done said, “Y’all’s reckon gotta listen up! Them spirits gon’ hear the reckonin’, and them folks who reckon right ’bout the good Lord gon’ find themselves a-reckonin’ eternal life, yessiree!” So, lemme tell ya, listen up and start reckonin’ right!
Well let me tell y’all sumthin’, them that belongs to Jesus Christ done gone and nailed their sinful nature to the cross. They ain’t lettin’ it take over no more, you hear? They walk in the spirit, not in their fleshly desires. Ya’ll gotta do the same, hear? Amen!
Well now y’all, may the Good Lord himself, who’s got yer back and yer front, keep yer whole dang self – body, spirit, and soul – in tip-top shape for the big shindig when our Savior Jesus comes back for us. Yessir, reckon we gotta be full-on ready fer that hootenanny!
Well let me tell ya, fruits a’ the spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, n’ self control. Like a frog on a hot rock, these here qualities should be growin’ in ya heart like weeds in a cornfield. Git to harvestin’ them fruits, y’all! Amen y’all!
Cletus went on and said, “God done turned me into a good ol’ boy, even though I ain’t worth nothin’. He took my mess of sin and swapped it for some holiness. Now I can strut around like I own the place, all thanks to that there Jesus feller.”
If’n ya turn a sinnin’ brother back ta the righteous way, ya done saved ‘im from a mess a trouble an’ stavin’ off a whole heap a sins. Way to go, buddy! Remember: coverin’ up them wrongs and bringin’ ’em back is a mighty good deed in the Lord’s eyes. Yeehaw!
Jesus said to that feller, “Go on back to yer kinfolk and tell ’em all ’bout the great things the Good Lord done for ya.” And that feller went on his way, spreadin’ the word ’bout Jesus like a country boy shoutin’ from a mountaintop.
