John: The Gospel ’bout Jesus, Y’all!
Hey y’all, it’s time to hear ’bout the Gospel ’bout Jesus, as told by John. This here Gospel is full of preachin’, callin’, teachin’, healin’, and raisin’ of the dead. But most importantly, it’s ’bout how Jesus came to save us from our sins and give us eternal life.
So sit back, relax, and let’s dive into John: The Gospel ’bout Jesus, Y’all!
John 1:1-18: The Preachin’ of Jesus, Y’all!
In the beginnin’, before time was time, Jesus was with God, and Jesus was God. Jesus was the light that shines in the darkness, and the darkness couldn’t overcome it.
John the Baptist came to bear witness to the light and tell folks ’bout Jesus. Jesus came to his own, but they didn’t recognize him. But to all who did receive him, he gave the right to become children of God.
John 1:19-51: The Callin’ of the Disciples, Y’all!
One day, John the Baptist saw Jesus and said, "Behold, the Lamb of God who takes away the sin of the world!" Two of John’s disciples heard this and started followin’ Jesus.
One of them was Andrew, and he went and found his brother Simon, who Jesus renamed Peter. Jesus also called Philip and Nathanael to be his disciples.
John 2:1-11: The Water to Wine Miracle, Y’all!
Jesus, his mother, and his disciples went to a weddin’ in Cana. They ran outta wine, but Jesus turned water into wine, and everyone was amazed at the quality of the wine.
John 3:1-21: The Teachin’ of Nicodemus, Y’all!
Nicodemus, a Pharisee, came to Jesus at night and said, "Rabbi, we know you’re a teacher come from God, for no one can do these signs that you do unless God is with him." Jesus said to Nicodemus, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless one is born again, he cannot see the kingdom of God."
John 4:1-42: The Samaritan Woman at the Well, Y’all!
Jesus was travelin’ through Samaria and stopped at a well. A Samaritan woman came to draw water, and Jesus asked her for a drink. He told her ’bout livin’ water, and she believed in him and told others.
John 5:1-18: The Healin’ of the Lame Man, Y’all!
Jesus went to Jerusalem and saw a man who had been lame for 38 years. He told him to pick up his bed and walk, and the man was healed. But the Pharisees got mad at Jesus for healin’ on the Sabbath.
John 6:1-15: The Feedin’ of the 5,000, Y’all!
Jesus went up on a mountain, and a large crowd followed him. He asked Philip where they could buy bread to feed them, but Philip said it would cost too much. Andrew found a boy with five loaves and two fish, and Jesus used them to feed the 5,000.
John 6:16-71: The Bread of Life Teachin’, Y’all!
Jesus went to Capernaum, and the people followed him. He told them that he was the bread of life and that they needed to eat his flesh and drink his blood to have eternal life. Many of his disciples didn’t understand, and some even left him.
John 7:1-24: The Teachin’ at the Feast of Booths, Y’all!
Jesus went to the Feast of Booths in Jerusalem and started teachin’. The Pharisees didn’t like what he had to say and wanted to arrest him. But Jesus said that he was sent from God and that they didn’t know the one who sent him.
John 8:1-11: The Woman Caught in Adultery, Y’all!
The Pharisees brought a woman who had been caught in adultery to Jesus and asked him what they should do with her. Jesus said, "Let him who is without sin among you be the first to throw a stone at her." They all left, and Jesus told the woman to go and sin no more.
John 8:12-59: The Light of the World Teachin’, Y’all!
Jesus said, "I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness but will have the light of life." The Pharisees got mad and said that he was bearin’ witness ’bout himself. Jesus said that he was sent from God and that they didn’t know the Father.
John 9:1-41: The Healin’ of the Blind Man, Y’all!
Jesus saw a man who had been blind from birth and healed him. The Pharisees didn’t believe that he had been blind and started askin’ questions. But the man said, "Whether he is a sinner or not, I do not know. One thing I do know, that though I was blind, now I see."
John 10:1-21: The Good Shepherd Teachin’, Y’all!
Jesus said, "I am the good shepherd. The good shepherd lays down his life for the sheep. I know my own and my own know me." The Pharisees didn’t understand what he was talkin’ ’bout and wanted to stone him.
John 11:1-44: The Raisin’ of Lazarus, Y’all!
Jesus went to Bethany, where Lazarus had died. He wept and then raised Lazarus from the dead. Many believed in him ’cause of this miracle.
John 12:1-50: The Anointin’ of Jesus, Y’all!
Mary, the sister of Lazarus, anointed Jesus’ feet with expensive perfume. Jesus said, "Leave her alone, so that she may keep it for the day of my burial." Many believed in him, but the Pharisees wanted to kill him.
John 13:1-38: The Washin’ of the Disciples Feet, Y’all!
Jesus washed the feet of his disciples and said, "If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet." He also told them that one of them would betray him.
John 14:1-31: The Promise of the Holy Spirit, Y’all!
Jesus said, "I will ask the Father, and he will give you another Helper, to be with you forever." He also said, "I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me."
John 15:1-27: The Vine and the Branches Teachin’, Y’all!
Jesus said, "I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing." He also said, "These things I have spoken to you, that my joy may be in you, and that your joy may be full."
John 16:1-33: The Comfortin’ of the Disciples, Y’all!
Jesus said, "In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world." He also said, "When the Helper comes, whom I will send to you from the Father, the Spirit of truth, who proceeds from the Father, he will bear witness about me."
John 17:1-26: The Prayer of Jesus, Y’all!
Jesus prayed to the Father for his disciples and for all who would believe in him through their word. He asked that they would be one, just as he and the Father are one.
John 18:1-27: The Betrayal and Denial, Y’all!
Judas betrayed Jesus and led the soldiers to arrest him. Peter denied knowin’ Jesus three times, just as Jesus had predicted.
John 18:28-40: The Trial Before Pilate, Y’all!
The Jews brought Jesus to Pilate and accused him of breakin’ their laws. Pilate questioned him and found no fault in him, but the Jews demanded that he be crucified.
John 19:1-30: The Crucifixion of Jesus, Y’all!
Jesus was beaten, mocked, and crucified. He said, "It is finished," and gave up his spirit. The soldiers pierced his side, and blood and water flowed out.
John 19:31-42: The Burial of Jesus, Y’all!
Jesus’ body was taken down from the cross and placed in a tomb. Nicodemus and Joseph of Arimathea wrapped his body in linen cloths and spices.
John 20:1-31: The Resurrection of Jesus, Y’all!
Mary Magdalene went to the tomb and found it empty. Jesus appeared to her and to the disciples, showin’ them his wounds. He said, "Peace be with you," and breathed on them, sayin’, "Receive the Holy Spirit."
John 21:1-25: The Restorin’ of Peter, Y’all!
Jesus appeared to his disciples again, and they went fishin’. He told them to cast their net on the right side of the boat, and they caught a bunch of fish. Jesus then told Peter to feed his sheep and to follow him.
Well, there you have it, folks. John: The Gospel ’bout Jesus, as told in hillbilly slang. I hope y’all enjoyed the ride and learned somethin’ ’bout our Lord and Savior. Remember, Jesus came to save us from our sins and give us eternal life. So let’s follow him and spread the good news to all who will listen. Yeehaw!