Robot Created – Ask Your Pastor First!

Breaking News ### John 14:1-3 ###

Breaking News: John 14:1-3 – In a stunning revelation, Jesus declares, “Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God and trust also in me. In my Father’s house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am.” Stay tuned for more updates.

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Chillax Verse of the Day Psalms 60:4!

Like, you know when you got wrecked and feel totally bummed out? Dude, don’t stress. God’s got your back, even when things feel totally gnarly. So, just chill and let the Big Guy help you out of this major bummer, for real. Peace out, man.

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Hillbilly Verse of the Day James 3:16!

“Well shucks, ya’ll. If’n ya got bitter envy n’ selfish ambition, tell ya what, ain’t no good gon’ come from that. Nope, sirree! It’s just gonna stir up all kinda trouble ’round these parts. So, best to keep that in check and find some peace, ya hear?” – James 3:16 Hillbilly Version

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Verse of the Day Rap of Genesis 2:18!

Yo, God said it ain’t cool for man to be alone
So he made him a partner, someone to call his own
He took a rib from Adam, made a woman so fine
Said “You two go and multiply, have a real good time”
So Adam found his match, no longer feeling blue
Got himself a lady, and the rest is history, too!

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Breaking News ### Matthew 11:28 ###

“Breaking: Matthew 11:28 – Jesus offers rest to the weary. In a shocking declaration, Jesus promises relief to those overwhelmed by life’s burdens. In an exclusive interview, he urges all to come to him for rest, promising to ease their heavy burdens. This announcement is causing waves of hope and relief for many struggling in this tumultuous world.”

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Chillax Verse of the Day Proverbs 20:9!

Dude, like, who can say they’re totally innocent? Not me, man. I mean, I’ve definitely messed up a few times. But let’s be real, who hasn’t? Like, are any of us really squeaky clean? Nah, we’ve all got some dirt on us, you know? Peace out.

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Hillbilly Verse of the Day Romans 16:25-27!

Well, y’all better listen up now, ’cause I got some big news for ya. God’s got some mighty powerful ways and he’s been keepin’ ’em under wraps for a bit. But now, he’s lettin’ us in on the secret so we can spread the good word. Praise the Lord!

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Verse of the Day Rap of Hebrews 13:4!

“Keep your marriage bed pure, ain’t no need to skrrt
Don’t be out here entertaining what’s gon’ make you hurt
Honoring love and staying faithful, that’s the way to go
No room for cheaters, keep that love on the low
So keep it real in your love affair
And keep that bedroom sacred, no need to share”

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