Florida Man Abram Strikes Deal with Higher Power

Florida man Abram was sitting on his porch, sipping on his sweet tea, when he heard a voice. It was the voice of God, telling him to pack his bags and head to a new land. "I’ll make you a great nation," the voice boomed. Abram was taken aback but intrigued. He decided to take the offer and hit the road with his wife and nephew.

As they traveled, Abram and his crew encountered all sorts of strange things. They saw giant gators, bizarre sea creatures, and even a man walking around with a pet panther. Abram knew that God was with him though, and he trusted that everything would work out in the end.

Finally, they arrived at a new land where God promised to make Abram a great nation. But there was one catch. Abram had to be circumcised. Now, Florida man Abram wasn’t one to shy away from pain, but this was a bit extreme. He gritted his teeth and got the deed done, all while muttering about how he wished he had brought some extra painkillers.

After the circumcision, God made a covenant with Abram. God promised to bless him and make his name great. Abram promised to trust in God and follow his commands. From then on, Abram was known as Abraham, the father of many nations.

Even though the journey was tough, Abraham knew that trusting in God was the best decision he ever made. He went on to have many children and was a respected leader among his people. And all because he was willing to take a chance and strike a deal with a higher power.

"And I will make you a great nation, and I will bless you, and make your name great; and so you shall be a blessing." – Genesis 12:2

If you want to read the actual story of God’s covenant with Abraham, check out Genesis 12:1-9 and 17:1-8 in the Bible. It may not be as humorous as my Florida man version, but it’s definitely worth the read!