Herod the Great and Balaam discuss Chicago Style Pizza

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Three random fictitious conversations between Herod the Great and Balaam about Chicago Style Pizza. That might have taken place at various times in history… But did not!

Let's Talk About Chicago Style Pizza

Herod the Great: Greetings, my esteemed prophet Balaam. I trust you are well.

Balaam: Indeed, my king. And may I say, your crown is most stately.

Herod the Great: Thank you, Balaam. But enough pleasantries, I have heard rumors of a peculiar dish they call ‘Chicago Style Pizza’. What do you know of this?

Balaam: Ah, yes. ‘Chicago Style Pizza’, a dish of great renown in the Midwest. They say it is thick, filling, and loaded with toppings.

Herod the Great: Interesting. And would it be worth our while to acquire this ‘Chicago Style Pizza’?

Balaam: Certainly, my king. The people hold it in high regard, and we could use it to win their favor.

Herod the Great: I knew I could count on your cunning, Balaam. Tell me, how shall we go about obtaining this ‘Chicago Style Pizza’?

Balaam: Well, my king, we could either send our armies to conquer Chicago, or we could find a way to bring it to us.

Herod the Great: Conquering Chicago would be a costly endeavor, but bringing ‘Chicago Style Pizza’ to us sounds more reasonable. How shall we do it?

Balaam: We could send spies to learn the secrets of ‘Chicago Style Pizza’, or we could invite a renowned chef to come and make it for us.

Herod the Great: I like your second suggestion, Balaam. Find the best ‘Chicago Style Pizza’ chef and bring them here. Our people shall feast on this delicacy!

Balaam: As you command, my king. But there is a price.

Herod the Great: What price?

Balaam: The chef demands a high sum for his services. It may put a strain on our treasury.

Herod the Great: (angrily) How dare he demand such a thing! He shall face the full wrath of my kingdom!

Balaam: (quickly) My king, I have an idea. We shall make a deal with the chef. If he makes us the best ‘Chicago Style Pizza’ we have ever tasted, we shall pay him double what he asks for.

Herod the Great: Interesting. And what guarantee do we have of his excellence?

Balaam: We shall invite a panel of judges, people of good taste, to sample his work. If they deem it worthy, we shall pay the chef what he asks for.

Herod the Great: A fair plan, Balaam. Go ahead and make the arrangements. I can hardly wait to taste ‘Chicago Style Pizza’!

Balaam: As you command, my king.

(montage of judges sampling pizza, intense music)

Judge 1: This pizza is too thick, too heavy. It sits like a stone in my stomach.

Judge 2: I agree. And the toppings are too greasy, too much cheese.

Judge 3: I’m sorry, chef. We cannot in good conscience recommend your pizza. It does not live up to its reputation.

(Chef looks downcast)

Balaam: My king, it seems our quest for ‘Chicago Style Pizza’ has ended in failure.

Herod the Great: (disappointed) No matter, Balaam. We shall find another way to gain favor with our people.

Balaam: But my king, there is still hope.

Herod the Great: What hope is there in this pizza that has failed us?

Balaam: The hope that we have learned a valuable lesson. That things are not always as they seem, and that greatness is not just in reputation, but in quality.

Herod the Great: (thoughtfully) Hmm, you are right, Balaam. We shall remember this lesson and apply it to all aspects of our kingdom. Quality over reputation.

Balaam: And perhaps one day we shall find a true ‘Chicago Style Pizza’ that lives up to its name.

Herod the Great: (smiling) And on that day, it shall be a feast fit for a king.

Moral of the story: Do not be fooled by reputation or appearances. Look for quality in all things, and do not be afraid to seek out new experiences.

Chicago Style Pizza Debate

Herod the Great and debate Chicago Style Pizza

Herod the Great: Greetings, my dear Balaam. What are your thoughts on the infamous Chicago Style Pizza?

Balaam: Ah, Herod the Great. Always a pleasure to speak with you. As a prophet, I must say that the very idea of a deep-dish pizza is quite sinful. The excessive amount of cheese and dough is sure to lead to gluttony and greed in those who consume it.

Herod the Great: Nonsense! As a king, I know what it means to indulge in luxury. The Chicago Style Pizza is fit for royalty with its rich sauce, generous toppings, and substantial crust. It is not sinful, but rather a divine culinary masterpiece.

Balaam: But what of the unhealthy aspects? A pizza so heavy and greasy surely cannot be good for the body or the soul.

Herod the Great: My dear Balaam, you speak as if health was of any concern to me. As a king, I am above such trivial matters. Besides, why would we worry about health when there is pizza to be enjoyed?

Balaam: I see your point, Herod the Great. But what of the traditional pizza? Why must we forsake it for this new style?

Herod the Great: Ah, the traditional pizza. A classic in its own right, but it lacks the grandeur and superiority of the Chicago Style Pizza. It is like comparing a mere peasant to a noble king.

Balaam: I must disagree, Herod the Great. The traditional pizza embodies simplicity and efficiency, qualities that should be celebrated. The Chicago Style Pizza, on the other hand, is overly complicated and excessive.

Herod the Great: (chuckles) My dear Balaam, simplicity is for those who lack imagination. The Chicago Style Pizza is a masterpiece precisely because of its complexity and excess. It is a pizza fit for a king, and I shall enjoy it without any guilt.

Balaam: Well, I can see that we shall never agree on this matter, Herod the Great. But I must say, your way of thinking is truly entertaining.

Herod the Great: And yours is quite amusing as well, Balaam. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have a pizza to devour. Good day!

Chicago Style Pizza - Game Time

Some Fun

Let’s go with ‘Twenty Questions’.

Herod the Great: Alright Balaam, I’ve got something in mind. Start asking your questions.

Balaam: Is it a type of food?

Herod the Great: Yes, it is.

Balaam: Is it a dessert?

Herod the Great: Nope.

Balaam: Is it a type of cuisine?

Herod the Great: Yes, it is.

Balaam: Is it Italian cuisine?

Herod the Great: Yes, it is.

Balaam: Is it pasta?

Herod the Great: No, it’s not.

Balaam: Is it a type of pizza?

Herod the Great: Yes, it is.

Balaam: Is it New York Style Pizza?

Herod the Great: No, it’s not.

Balaam: Is it Chicago Style Pizza?

Herod the Great: Yes, it is!

Balaam: Ah, very nice. I should have guessed it earlier.

Herod the Great: Chicago Style Pizza is the best. Have you ever had one?

Balaam: No, I haven’t had the pleasure yet.

Herod the Great: Oh, you’re missing out. Deep dish, loads of cheese, and toppings piled high. It’s amazing!

Balaam: I’ll have to try it next time I’m in Chicago.

Herod the Great: You definitely should. It’s worth the trip just for the pizza.

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About Herod the Great from the New Testament

Herod the Great was a king of Judea who ruled from 37 BC to 4 BC. He was known for his great building projects, including the reconstruction of the temple in Jerusalem. However, he was also known for his cruelty and paranoia, which led him to murder members of his own family and others he perceived as threats to his power.

Despite his flaws, Herod played an important role in the story of Jesus Christ. He was the ruler who ordered the massacre of the innocent babies in Bethlehem, hoping to eliminate the threat posed by the rumored birth of the Christ child. This event is remembered every year on December 28, known as the Feast of the Holy Innocents.

It is clear that Herod was a man who put his own desires for power and control above the lives of others. In Matthew 2:16-18, the massacre of the innocent babies is described:

“When Herod realized that he had been outwitted by the Magi, he was furious, and he gave orders to kill all the boys in Bethlehem and its vicinity who were two years old and under, in accordance with the time he had learned from the Magi. Then what was said through the prophet Jeremiah was fulfilled: ‘A voice is heard in Ramah, weeping and great mourning, Rachel weeping for her children and refusing to be comforted, because they are no more.’”

From a Christian perspective, we can see Herod as an example of what happens when a person is consumed by their own selfish desires. However, we can also see how God can take even the worst of situations and bring about good. Despite Herod’s attempt to kill Jesus, He was protected and went on to fulfill His mission of saving the world from sin and death.

About Balaam from the Old Testament

Balaam was a prophet from the ancient city of Pethor, who is famously known for his role in the Exodus story. In the Old Testament, Balaam was asked by the Moabite king, Balak, to curse the Israelites who were approaching his land.

Initially, Balaam was hesitant to comply with Balak’s request, despite the promise of a great reward. However, over time, he began to listen to his own greed instead of the voice of God, and agreed to curse the Israelites.

God, however, intervened and blocked Balaam’s journey with an angel, who reproved him for his disobedience. After being humbled, Balaam finally understood the error of his ways, and instead uttered a series of prophecies that would become blessings for the Israelites.

Despite his initial disobedience, Balaam is remembered in the Bible for his prophetic knowledge and his eventual submission to the will of God. As the book of Numbers puts it, “God is not human, that he should lie, not a human being, that he should change his mind. Does he speak and then not act? Does he promise and not fulfill?” (Numbers 23:19, NIV). This reminder serves as a testament to the enduring nature of God’s love and mercy, even when we fall short of our own ideals.

About Chicago Style Pizza

Chicago style pizza is a delicious and unique culinary creation that is loved by millions around the world. This deep-dish pizza is made with a thick crust, layers of cheese, and a variety of toppings that are baked in a deep pan until golden brown. Chicago style pizza is a testament to the skill and creativity of Chicago’s culinary community, and it’s a dish that should be cherished and celebrated by all who enjoy good food. When we enjoy Chicago style pizza, we should thank God for the talented hands that made it and for the abundance of food that we have in our lives. May we always remember to give thanks for the blessings that we enjoy, including the delicious food that brings us joy and nourishment.

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Have fun creating a conversation between two Bible characters. One in the Old Testament and one in the New Testament and see what happens!

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