Yo, it’s Slim Shady, aka Eminem, and I’m about to give you the rundown on the book of Genesis. Now, I know what you’re thinking, “why is the rap god talking about the Bible?” Well, let’s just say I’ve got bars for days and even God knows it.
So, in the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth. He had a plan for everything and created humans in his image, but let’s be real, we messed up pretty quickly. Adam and Eve were chilling in the Garden of Eden, minding their own business when a serpent convinced Eve to eat from the tree of knowledge, and everything went downhill from there.
Fast forward a bit, and we get to the story of Cain and Abel. Cain was jealous of Abel and straight-up murdered him. God was not pleased and put a mark on Cain so that everyone would know what he had done.
Then we have Noah and the Great Flood. God decided that everything had gotten too corrupt, and He was going to start over. He called on Noah, who built himself an ark and saved all the animals from the flood. And let me tell you, that must have been one crowded boat.
Next up is the story of the Tower of Babel. The people of the world decided they wanted to build a tower to the heavens, but God wasn’t having it. He confused their language, so they couldn’t understand each other and put a stop to their plans.
Now, this one is a bit of a wild card, but we can’t forget Jacob and Esau. Those two were constantly at each other’s throats, and Jacob straight-up stole Esau’s birthright. Talk about family drama.
Finally, we get to Joseph and his technicolor dreamcoat. Joseph was sold into slavery by his brothers, but he rose to power and even helped Egypt survive a famine. If you haven’t heard his story before, I suggest you check it out.
So there you have it, the book of Genesis according to Eminem. And as I always say, “I’m beginning to feel like a Rap God, Rap God
All my people from the front to the back nod, back nod.” Peace out.
