Breaking News! Psalm 23:1-3

Breaking: Local Shepherd-in-Chief assumed command — sources say no lack reported. Calm pastures observed; residents guided to tranquil waters. Officials confirm restoration of weary souls and routing along righteous paths, citing mission to uphold the leader’s name. Community morale rising; further updates as guidance continues.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo king, chill — no extra horses in your stall,
don’t ship the crowd back to Egypt for horse haul.
No harem overflowin’ (one’s enough, y’all),
don’t stack silver, gold till your head gets tall.
Stay humble, follow God, keep that heart low —
lead with faith, not flash; that’s