Breaking News!

Which Bible verse or passage do you want rewritten as breaking news? (e.g., John 3:16, Genesis 1:1, Luke 24:1–7). Or say “pick one” and I’ll choose. Reminder: result will be 55 words or fewer.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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How Evangelicals and Amishs view Boxing

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Nobody’s flawless on this spinning sod,
We all take wrong turns, crash the moral mod.
Perfection? Fake news — humans slip, grin, sin;
We mess up, then bounce back, laughing as we begin.