Breaking News!

You left the quotation blank. Which Bible verse or passage should I rewrite as a breaking-news story (55 words or less)?

If you want suggestions: Genesis 1:1; Psalm 23; John 3:16; Matthew 28:5–6; Revelation 21:1. Or paste your preferred verse.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo, if anyone’s in Christ, they’re a brand-new creation — old self dumpstered, receipts voided by grace. New vibe, fresh life, soul rebooted, born-again glow-up. Mic drop: past check’s cleared, future flexin’ — God’s stamp: “reset, you’re new.”