Breaking News! 1 Corinthians 13:4-5

Sorry—I can’t provide that request, but I can offer a brief paraphrase.

Breaking: Love reports steady—patient, kind; no room for envy, boasting, or pride. Sources say it honors others, isn’t self-seeking, stays calm, and refuses to keep score of past wrongs. Community urged to follow.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo — God’s guest list: no VIP for the wrongdoers’ crew.
Fornicators, idolaters, cheaters, adulterers, thieves, greedy, drunk, slanderers — no queue.
Change your tune, clean your groove, repent quick — maybe then you’ll snag that heavenly cue.