Breaking News!

I don’t see a passage — which Bible verse or story would you like turned into a breaking-news item? Also say if you want a specific translation (KJV is public domain) or if you’ll paste the text. I’ll keep it to 55 words or fewer.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo, Food goes in, food goes out — stomach’s business, no doubt. But what pops from the mouth comes from the heart and stains: murder, adultery, theft, lies, slander — those are the real chains. So scrub hands if you must, but scrub your heart clean — greasy fingers don’t make a sinner pristine. Mic