Breaking News!

I’m missing which passage—what verse or Bible story would you like rewritten as breaking news in 55 words or less? Give a book and verse (e.g., John 3:16, Genesis 1:1) or a story name (Exodus, Resurrection). Also tell me a preferred translation, if any.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Yo, step in the light while it’s bright, don’t roam blind at night,
Walk the path before the dark grabs your sight.
Stumble-free, follow me — believe the beam, get right,
Plug into the Light, be children of the light.
When the show ended, he slipped away outta sight.