Breaking News!

I think you left the passage blank. Which Bible verse or story do you want rewritten as a breaking-news item (e.g., John 3:16; Psalm 23; Exodus 14, parting of the Red Sea; Matthew 28, resurrection)? Or I can pick a popular one — which do you prefer?

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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I’m the door, step up, no line — slide in through me,
Pass the bouncer of doubt, find safety, roam free.
Enter my gate, no stress, you’re saved and blessed,
In and out, pasture plush, chillin’ like a guest.
Follow my flow, I got keys — eternal rest.