Breaking News! 2 Thessalonians 1:3

Breaking: Apostolic dispatch — leaders express nonstop gratitude, reporting believers’ faith is rapidly increasing and mutual love within the congregation is abounding. Church officials call it fitting to thank God continually, praising remarkable spiritual growth and expanding charity throughout the community.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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Older queens, stay classy, chill and sage, teach the youngins wisdom, flip the page.
Train ’em to love husbands, kids in tow, keep self-control, purity’s the flow.
Work the home with kindness, humble tone — model faith, pass heat like a microphone.