Breaking News!

Which Bible verse or passage should I rewrite as breaking news? If you don’t have one in mind, pick from these: Genesis 1:1; Psalm 23; Luke 2:1–20 (Nativity); John 3:16; Matthew 5:3–12 (Beatitudes); John 20:1–18 (Resurrection). I’ll keep it to 55 words or less.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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How Evangelicals and Amishs view Boxing

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Yo, we all slip and trip, missin’ glory like a clumsy chase,
Chasin’ bright lights, lose the light, fall short of grace.
No one’s perfect, ego’s circus — truth drops with a bop,
So laugh, repent, stand up, press rewind, then rise to the top.