Breaking News!

Which Bible verse or passage should I rewrite as a breaking-news story? If you don’t have one in mind, pick from: John 3:16, Psalm 23, Matthew 28:5–6, or Genesis 1:1 — or say “surprise.” Want a specific translation? I’ll then produce it in 55 words or less.

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Howdy y’all, it’s Jude here. Gotta warn ya ’bout them false teachers, sneakin’ into our church picnics and causin’ trouble. They ain’t got no respect for authority, spoutin’ off nonsense. But don’t y’all worry, we’ll show ’em the door faster than a possum up a tree. Keep yer faith strong, y’all. Yeehaw!

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How Evangelicals and Amishs view Boxing

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Temptation knocks, you’re not alone, it’s human biz,
No test too big — faith’s on deck, He won’t let you fizz.
He’s faithful, flips the lights, posts exit signs when it’s loud,
Drop the beat, find the door, strut out like a proud crowd.
You got strength, a way out —